whoretown

the whores were out early ...

u'd see the everywhere - hanging round the phone booths, walking in their tight jeans and cheap make-ups. they looked just like any other tropical teenage girls, students and supermarket cashiers and restaurant helpers but they don't fool me these sleaze insects. whoredom - fuck it- is commonplace in this cunty town.

they knew the men would be out - lonely desperate fuckers looking for some ways to kill time and release this incredible urge torturing their every existence. it was the night before a public holiday and these poor working souls were looking forward to getting stoned and getting laid some way or another.

but i wasn't going to fall prey to them again, no way. went home and slept early.

the maid was in early as well this morning - i thought she wouldn't show up, this being a holiday. the lady's testing my patience really, she didn't seem to put much effort in her cooking and i just couldn't eat the crap she prepares everyday. she does her work quickly everyday in order to leave early, and she speaks to me like i'm a young boy. she asked for some cash advance again - i didn't like it - but just handed over the money like an ATM. Raya is coming and she might need some help, i thought, we deal with the other things later.

things have been quite hard lately - the loneliness has started to really get into me. i have not communicated with anyone at all in the past one week or so. i just go to the office and sit around passing time - i haven't hired a clerk and i haven't be able to get a cleaner - so it was just me doing nothing much. at night i get really stressed out for not knowing what to do - there is nothing on tv, i can't read a book without falling asleep and there is absolutely nothing in this town that interests me to make me want to go out.

i have no mood to call anyone, and the only calls i ever got were from penny - which i didn't bother to answer. that silly girl annoys me, to be honest.

at times i drive around town and it just made me sick. the repeating old question of 'how the fuck did u end up here?' keep disturbing me. i look at the people walking by, and i have no love for them. i still feel like an outsider, not only legally but also psychologically. i'm sick of trying to make new friends, of having to speak chinese which i'm never good at, of needing to justify why i'm here, and to explain why i'm such a loser for still being single at this age. all i'm interested is getting some bussiness running, to rip-off the money from all these fuckers, and then i'll just leave...

"the voyage is cursed! we set sail for greed. god has abandoned us!"

and our bussiness plans are not fucking moving at all.