Standing Up

Been fidgeting about the day. Couldn’t sleep the night before, there was a fire on the lower floor around midnight (sat) and the fire engine had to come and break into the unit. Watching the whole thing from the ground floor, among the small crowd of other occupants made me feel so lonely.

I was hoping for a bright sunny day, but the morning was cloudy. It felt like a big day, like i was about to receive my bride so i wanted the day to be perfect. Definitely not raining, or the kind of brooding all-day-drizzle that i experienced moving to a rented apartment in manila not too long ago. within a month i had lost my job and had to leave manila for good. there was some joy, a feeling of moving a step up, but also lots of anxiety about higher commitments and whether i had made a good choice.

cooked my breakfast, was hoping for a deluge of phone calls since we advertised for a position at the project site, but only a handful came. time moved too slowly, i spent it filing my tax returns and then went out for some grocery shopping. there was still time so i drove around D Heights going nowehere in particular. the sky was dark, but there were bouts of sunshine here and there - sort of giving me some hope.

at 11 as scheduled i drove to the dealership. just as i almost reched there i felt a sense of sadness having to part with this old car. i remember buying it for my dad, he drove it out of the dealership before and he really took good care of it. suddenly i remembered to never have taken any picture of her, and it wrecked my gut.

it had then started to drizzle. i did the formalities and gave out the car keys for a trade-in and before long drove the car home. 58.8km on the mileage. i felt it was small, although the handling was definitley sturdier. nothing particularly impressive or cool about her but i had made my choice.

the weather was just like what i was fearing, and it drizzled, rained or remained cloudy for almost the entire day. i went home to cook my lunch, took a nap and watched ladies golf. the rain stopped for a while,and i decided to take a walk towards the office and see how far i could go. it turned out to be a lovely, quiet walk through ara d. took a cab halfway and reached the office to collect the pick-up.

thought of driving her out but it continued raining at night. she marked the end of my previous trouble, my 'hiroshima' of losing a job, and having my life changed drastically. i have managed to stand up again. hoping for the best from now on.