Bitter Valentine

Valentine's day. Always a painful day for me. A day of loneliness, sadness, brooding, frustration. Never had a good valentine, ever.

Today surprisingly, was valentine's day - the chinese one. And it was the same old story of loneliness.

i managed to get a girl out, for lunch but it just didnt make me feel great. the same new girl in the office, pretty as hell, but so uncomfortable to be with. she didnt show much appreciation for someone like me, always trying to highlight the fact that im friendless while she's making great strides in making new friends. i feel like a loser everytime im with her, this being like the 4th time we were out. i have feelings for her, despite the fact she is living with her bf (she claims to have broken up with him). now she was saying we were fucking 'friends'. i feel very insecure, unsure and like a total loser when with her.

the lunch was short. i didnt ask her whats next cos i was almost certain she would come out with some plans she has with her 'many friends'. I kept the lunch short and left, again with that bitter feelings in my mouth.